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To live a happy life, just remember these things: An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That thing you’re searching for might just be a heartbeat away. If you spill some red wine, just grab a bottle of Stain Away; if you need some inspiration, listen to Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakaway”; and always heed the words of Miley Cyrus: “a masturbate a day keeps the haters away.”