Patti Roberts likens her gray hair to cotton candy. “Most people get wiry, uncontrollable grays, but mine went the other way,” she says. “It’s softer and fluffier now.” The 58-year-old influencer had to change many things in her routine as she transitioned from black to gray hair. “That transition was a rough one, but I love my gray hair so much better,” she says. “How I treat my gray hair is how I treat my body. I have to stay fit. I don’t wear florals anymore. You have to be more stylish with gray hair; because it automatically ages you, you have to do the opposite”
Roberts went viral in 2021 for re-creating Farrah Fawcett’s signature hairstyle with gray hair. “I’ve been doing my hair since I was 14 — that’s over 40-something years. If there’s one thing I know, I know my hair,” she says. “In college, I did everyone’s hair.” She’s had waist-length hair and a post-divorce Toni Braxton pixie cut, but her current hair is her favorite length. “With this length, if I want it to be flat or full, curled or natural,” she explains, “I can get several looks out of this.”
The day before: Wash day for me begins the day before. When people ask me what I use, it really depends on what my hair needs. (When I ask you what you’re going to eat, you’re not going to tell me the same thing every night. Same thing with hair.) Right now, my hair feels a little dry, so I’ll use a deep conditioner. I put a deep conditioner in it, sit in the steam room or sauna at the gym, and let it soak in for about 20 minutes. I like the deep conditioners from Amika and Briogeo.
The day before: Wash day for me begins the day before. When people ask me what I use, it really depends on what my hair needs. (When I ask you what you’re going to eat, you’re not going to tell me the same thing every night. Same thing with hair.) Right now, my hair feels a little dry, so I’ll use a deep conditioner. I put a deep conditioner in it, sit in the steam room or sauna at the gym, and let it soak in for about 20 minutes. I like the deep conditioners from Amika and Briogeo.
11:30 a.m.: I start by stimulating my scalp. I always keep a scalp massager in my hand. Vegamour is the scalp and hair serum that I love. Donna’s Recipe, that hair oil she has, is so good. It has peppermint, rosemary, and green tea; it has all the things that will wake up all the pores on your scalp. Your follicles will be dancing up there.
Noon: Then I wash my hair with a detox shampoo, like one from K18. I detox every time I wash it because gray hair is like a white couch. When my hair was dark and thick, child, whatever, pass me a pressing comb on top of this perm, it didn’t matter. Now, even the water from the shower is damaging. So if I don’t use a filter, the minerals will deposit and begin to stain. Then, I use a purple shampoo from L’Oréal; it’s a pale lavender color. The wrong purple shampoo will dye my hair purple because it’s gray and most purple shampoos are made for blondes. I don’t know why they don’t have one for gray hair. And my hair will turn yellow if I don’t use purple shampoo. My favorite purple shampoo is Olaplex’s. Olaplex gets a bad rap. For me, it’s like liquor: If you use it how you’re supposed to use it responsibly, you’ll have a good time. It’s not designed to be left in.
12:10 p.m.: I do a light conditioner by Olaplex or K18. So as I wash my body and face, the conditioner sits in for 15 minutes.
12:25 p.m.: I rinse it out with cold water. If it’s wintertime, this is probably TMI, but I’ll turn the shower to cold, lay in the bathtub, and just run cold water over my hair and hold it down so it doesn’t run down my body.
12:30 p.m.: I put on a Slip satin turban that doesn’t snag your hair and walk around for 20 to 30 minutes. I get my lotion and skin care on.
12:50 p.m.: I divide my hair into three sections to start drying. Now that my hair is gray, I use less heat and I’ll spray in four or five heat protectants. I always say my hair is humidity resistant because I use several products in my blow-dry routine. I go from lightest to heaviest, starting with Redken Extreme Anti-Snap. Then I go in with It’s a 10 Miracle. I use two coats of Silk Elements Olive Spray. Then I’ll use a serum: John Frieda Frizz Ease, Olaplex No. 7, or Vegamour. I put everything lightly on my hands, then spread it through.
2 p.m.: I’ll divide my hair into three sections to start drying my hair. Now that it’s gray, I use less heat. I’ll spray in four or five heat protectants; I always say my hair is humidity-resistant because I use a number of products in my blow-dry routine. I go from lightest to heaviest heat-protectant formula. I start with Redken Anti-Snap. Then I go in with It’s a 10 Miracle; I don’t use this all the time. I use two coats of Silk Elements Olive Oil; this bottle is old and raggedy because it’s used. Then, I’ll use a serum after that, John Freida Frizz Ease, Vegamour, or Olaplex No. 7; I will use three drops of that. I put everything lightly on my hands first, then spread it through. (I hate the Color Wow Dream Coat because it has silicone in it. I avoid it. It’s like polishing your hair with clear polish, I can feel it coating my hair, and that is gross.)
8 p.m.: After I wash my hair and blow it out, either that night or the following day, I’ll flat iron it or curl it; if it want waves, I’ll throw a couple of waves in it. Once I do that, though, I will have no more heat on my hair until next week. I like the Drybar paddle brush.
9 p.m.: With my hair curled, I can twist it up in a knot and go to bed. I use the Slip silk pillowcase. My hairstylist has her own line of bonnets that I use. If you go to Marshalls and get a bonnet, you might get a good one or you might get a trash one. I change them so often, because I’m going to bed with oils. So as not to create a cesspool of germs, I rotate them out every three or four days. The next day, the easiest way to refresh my hair is to flip it over and run my fingers through it — it’s pretty and has volume. I just bought two more bottles of the Vegamour Weightless Repair oil, and I put a few drops of that on my hair throughout the day.
On maintaining her hair through workouts: I pull my hair back and wear a hat. It’s from Ponyflo. The hat is lined and has a hole in the back, so it basically works as a sweatband. I work out about three times a week.
On hair growth and supplements: I get trims every six to eight weeks. I’m very careful about shedding and serums to stimulate growth and scalp. I took Nutrafol for a growth cycle and it’s okay, but it wasn’t my preference to take four pills a day. I just switched to Viviscal, which requires two tablets daily. I’ve been taking it for 30 days, and I like it so far. I’m always going to take supplements; I don’t care what it is. I’ve been doing this since I was in my 20s for health reasons. I’ll go into the health-food store and ask if they have something I’m not using. The last time, the sales associate recommended silica. You put about 15 drops in your water, and it doesn’t taste like anything.
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