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Rihanna’s hairstyle is the hairstyle of my second-grade teacher, Mrs. Taylor. It’s the same hairstyle my mother has requested at the salon for nearly two decades. Rihanna’s hairstyle is an early Oprah throwback: a hair promise of milky chai tea and warm, fuzzy wisdom. Rihanna’s hairstyle is what happens if you combine the hairstyles of Judy Jetson, Betty Rubble, and Wilma Flintsone — Saturday morning cartoons in follicular form. Rihanna’s hairstyle is a bowl of Campbell’s alphabet soup. Rihanna’s hair is a hug.