I know some people — a lot of people, apparently — really like White Claw, but it makes me want to barf. Just the thought of it! White Claw reminds me of everything I drank as a 19- and 20-year-old, which is to say: fruity garbage. My body can’t take it, or maybe it never could, and the only thing that’s different now is that my brain is developed enough to know it doesn’t have to be this way.
It is thanks to celesbian hairstylist Riawna Capri (she who created Megan Rapinoe’s famous lavender-pink hue) that I know about Cann, a low-THC seltzer available at dispensaries in legal states. Riawna and her partner, Morgan Beau, both beautiful and wellness-y and Californian, seem to have a really nice life, and when I saw them drinking pastel-pink and -green cans of weed seltzer on Instagram, I knew I had to have it.
Now that I have sampled all six of Cann’s currently available flavors (I’m told many more are in the works), I can confidently say it’s everything Instagram led me to believe and more (anyone who has ever ordered a shirt from a weird Instagram ad knows that’s saying a lot). My favorite is the blood-orange cardamom, which scared me a bit in theory but is actually quite subtle, as are most of the flavors: lemon lavender, grapefruit rosemary (which also has a “light” version), ginger lemongrass, and pineapple jalapeño — none of which taste remotely like weed. Each can has two milligrams of THC to four milligrams of CBD, which is the ideal ratio for a weed wimp like myself.
I wouldn’t say a single Cann made me high so much as pleasantly relaxed, which is all I’ve ever wanted from a beer, though usually with a beer I’ll just say two annoying things sort of loudly and then get a stomachache. With Cann, there was no stomachache and no hangover, only a modest slowing down of time, a gentle floatiness. What we consider “moderate” alcohol consumption is also worse for us than we’d like to admit; while we don’t yet have long-term data on regular consumption of non-inhaled cannabis, it’s inarguably less harmful and less addictive than alcohol. It’s also a nice alternative for those who might like the idea of a pre-party edible but want to feel the effects sooner (and build them more slowly) than your average gummy.
Founded in 2019, Cann found success quickly. Capri and Beau, as I later learned via Cann’s co-founder Luke Anderson, have been more instrumental to that success than I initially thought. They recommended the product to a number of their celebrity clients and friends, including Bre-Z and Ruby Rose, who invested in the brand. Cann’s social-media presence, while pastel-dreamy and aspirational, is also rooted in the political environment in which it operates; the brand regularly lends vocal and financial support to Black-led cannabis organizations and social-equity causes.
The only real advantage spiked seltzer has over weed seltzer is the cost: A six-pack of White Claw costs around $10, whereas a six-pack of Cann costs $25 at my nearest dispensary. These products aren’t going to be direct substitutes for everyone, particularly if cost is a factor, but I hope that as more states move to legalize cannabis (and expunge unjust cannabis convictions accordingly), costs drop and so will the price of Cann.
You know how people are always bringing a cooler of White Claw or beer to the beach? And you’re like, Both of these things are super-dehydrating, which is not going to make me feel good in an already dehydrating environment? I think a cooler full of Cann would be much better. You should still drink normal water, too, because it’s good for you, but I can already feel myself two Canns in, smiling at nothing, wiggling into the sand like a worm.