Finally, New York City is getting a spot where people can feel comfortable going on dates.
According to Bloomberg, Soho will soon be home to Bumble Brew, a coffee shop and wine bar from the team behind the dating app. The restaurant, which is scheduled to open in fall 2019, is focused on creating a pleasant date experience, in part by vigilantly steering visitors away from stereotypical first-date blunders. As described by the people behind it, Bumble Brew will feature “date-friendly” foods only (“no spaghetti”) and a curated wine list from regions that people can pronounce.
Clearly, the early report leaves quite a few questions unanswered — for example, why can’t we be trusted with spaghetti? But more than anything, it made us curious: What would a Tinder restaurant be like? There, we imagine you’d find …
• Bartenders who are far more attractive than your date
• Ingredients foraged by Australians
• Instead of a sommelier, simply a guy who’s “into beer”
• A lone man, outfitted in a T-shirt and flip-flops, holding up a fish in the corner
• A Rupi Kaur poem painted on the wall of the women’s bathroom
• Scorpion bowls on every table
• Hanging photos of men posing with Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson
• Pulsing EDM music
• A couple on a first date sharing what Harry Potter house they’d be in
• Juul pod–littered floors
• A super fun, open couple on the hunt for a woman they can spoil (they can’t wait to meet you!)
• Frustrated bisexual women who do not want to be your unicorn
• Large bathrooms … because … you know
• A dart board for the people who “love to have fun”
• Spaghetti