Your Guide to Gratuitous Male Objectification at the Olympics
Photo: Getty Images
Every four years, the Olympics give you the opportunity to watch thousands of the finest athletes in the world compete against each other, all executing remarkable feats of human strength and agility in the name of nationalism. More important, whether or not you actually care about the sports taking place, they’re 17 full days you can dedicate to ogling extremely fit and hot people.
During the 2012 London games, hunky golden retriever Ryan Lochte emerged from the masses as the premiere object of lust. He’ll be returning in 2016 (Jeah!!!), but there’s no need to limit yourself to Lochte fever when there’s also a bevy of six-packed men from around the world to watch for.
Come, join us on the official horndog tour of Rio.
Ashton Eaton
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — His first Vogue cover was also Gigi Hadid’s first Vogue cover, which means he is ...
Ashton Eaton
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — His first Vogue cover was also Gigi Hadid’s first Vogue cover, which means he is at least exactly as hot as Gigi Hadid.
Photo: VALERIE MACON/This content is subject to copyright.
Camille LaCourt
Country: France, Sport: Swimming — As the French say, ooh la la!
Photo: Jean Catuffe/2016 Jean Catuffe
Nathan Adrian
Country: USA, Sport: Swimming — Google “Nathan Adrian ESPN body issue.” You’re welcome.
Photo: Harry How/2...
Nathan Adrian
Country: USA, Sport: Swimming — Google “Nathan Adrian ESPN body issue.” You’re welcome.
Photo: Harry How/2015 Getty Images
Kerron Clement
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — Clement comes Beyoncé-approved: The part-time model and actor appeared in t...
Kerron Clement
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — Clement comes Beyoncé-approved: The part-time model and actor appeared in the “Run the World (Girls)” video.
Photo: Patrick Smith/2016 Getty Images
Rhys Howden
Country: Australia, Sport: Water polo — What’s water polo even? How do you pronounce Rhys? All fair questions. Just foc...
Rhys Howden
Country: Australia, Sport: Water polo — What’s water polo even? How do you pronounce Rhys? All fair questions. Just focus on the photo.
Photo: Cameron Spencer/2012 Getty Images
Paul Bennett
Country: Great Britain, Sport: Rowing — The rare breed who looks equally good with and without his man-bun.
Photo: W...
Paul Bennett
Country: Great Britain, Sport: Rowing — The rare breed who looks equally good with and without his man-bun.
Photo: Warren Little/2016 Getty Images
Evan Jager
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — With his sinewy frame and boyish face, Jager looks like your high-school boyfriend you ...
Evan Jager
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — With his sinewy frame and boyish face, Jager looks like your high-school boyfriend you dumped over Thanksgiving during your freshman year of college, but still think about sometimes when you're alone and in your head.
Photo: Andy Lyons/2015 Getty Images
Pascal Lussier
Country: Canada, Sport: Rowing — You like poutine, he probably likes poutine. You have so much in common already!
P...
Pascal Lussier
Country: Canada, Sport: Rowing — You like poutine, he probably likes poutine. You have so much in common already!
Photo: paslussier/Instagram
Hansle Parchment
Country: Jamaica, Sport: Track and field — It shouldn't surprise you in the least that Google’s first recommended s...
Hansle Parchment
Country: Jamaica, Sport: Track and field — It shouldn't surprise you in the least that Google’s first recommended search when you start typing out his name is “Hansle Parchment girlfriend.”
Photo: Anadolu Agency/2015 Anadolu Agency
Ashton Baumann
Country: Canada, Sport: Swimming — Much like fellow famous hot Canadian Justin Trudeau, his dad was also renowned for...
Ashton Baumann
Country: Canada, Sport: Swimming — Much like fellow famous hot Canadian Justin Trudeau, his dad was also renowned for once doing the same job.
Photo: ashtonbaumann/Instagram
Alex Ranghieri
Country: Italy, Sport: Beach volleyball — Alex! Mamma mia!
Photo: Burak Kara/2015 Getty Images
Lee Dae-Hoon
Country: South Korea, Sport: Taekwondo — Adorable, has excellent hair, and is very, very good at kicking.
Photo: JU...
Lee Dae-Hoon
Country: South Korea, Sport: Taekwondo — Adorable, has excellent hair, and is very, very good at kicking.
Photo: JUNG YEON-JE/This content is subject to copyright.
Cameron McEvoy
Country: Australia, Sport: Swimming — Not only is he one of Australia’s top swimmers, he’s also an aspiring physi...
Cameron McEvoy
Country: Australia, Sport: Swimming — Not only is he one of Australia’s top swimmers, he’s also an aspiring physicist. Which makes Ryan Lochte look ... ah ... bad.
Photo: GREG WOOD/This content is subject to copyright.
Ben Blankenship
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — Blankenship looks like he makes his own kombucha, but not in an annoying ...
Ben Blankenship
Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — Blankenship looks like he makes his own kombucha, but not in an annoying way. (Because he’s hot.)
Photo: Christian Petersen/2015 Getty Images
Marcelo Melo
Country: Brazil, Sport: Tennis — He's six-eight. Enough said.
Photo: Gabriel Rossi/STF/2015 LatinContent
Bernard Lagat Country: USA, Sport: Track and field — The official Hot Dad of the 2016 Olympics.
Photo: Andy Lyons/2016 Getty Images
Luca Dotto
Country: Italy, Sport: Swimming — Luca! [Kisses fingertips like an Italian chef.]
Photo: dottolck/Instagram
Tom Daley
Country: Great Britain, Sport: Diving — Daley’s 1.3 million Instagram followers, and the 11 million people who watched...
Tom Daley
Country: Great Britain, Sport: Diving — Daley’s 1.3 million Instagram followers, and the 11 million people who watched his coming-out video, probably agree with this aesthetic choice.
Photo: JUSTIN TALLIS/This content is subject to copyright.
Matheus Santana
Country: Brazil, Sport: Swimming — He loves his dog (arguably the most important quality in a man).
P...
Matheus Santana
Country: Brazil, Sport: Swimming — He loves his dog (arguably the most important quality in a man).
Photo: CHRISTOPHE SIMON/This content is subject to copyright.
Epke Zonderland
Country: The Netherlands, Sport: Gymnastics — Because the “your body is a zonderland” jokes will never get old. ...
Epke Zonderland
Country: The Netherlands, Sport: Gymnastics — Because the “your body is a zonderland” jokes will never get old.
Photo: Lintao Zhang/2014 Getty Images
Bob Costas
Country: USA, Sport: Hosting — After more than two weeks straight of watching Bob Costas on your television, y...
Bob Costas
Country: USA, Sport: Hosting — After more than two weeks straight of watching Bob Costas on your television, you’ll inevitably get Olympics goggles. And when that happens ... Bob Costas can get it.
Photo: Michael Tran/2015 Michael Tran
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