“I’m coming out to you today, and I’m not coming out the way you think,” Amber Valletta says in a video for the wellness site Mind Body Green. (Though “some of you might have been excited about that,” she adds jokingly.) The supermodel continues, “I’m coming out to you as an addict. I suffer from a disease called addiction, and I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.” She reveals that she sniffed glue as a child, and had smoked marijuana by age 10. When she left Oklahoma and entered the modeling industry in her teens, she graduated to cocaine and alcohol. “I was in a business where drugs were accepted, and they were given to me,” Valletta says, adding that she takes full responsibility for her behavior. “I had a multi-million-dollar deal, and I showed up the first day to shoot this campaign high and drunk. I didn’t care. And that’s to just show you addiction takes you to the worst places.” Her story ends on a positive note, though: The 40-year-old has been sober since age 25.