The Best, Worst, and Craziest Looks From Cannes
Photo: Getty Images
As star-studded blowouts go, there’s awards season, there’s the Met Ball, and then there’s Cannes — which is what you’d get if the first two got married and took a dizzy, dramatic honeymoon. Forget that there are actual films being screened: Focus on the red carpet. It’s two parts movie stars and supermodels, one part “actors” and “models,” a splash of crazy, and a heaping teaspoon of nudity (ideally served over ice on the deck of a rented yacht, or thrown directly into someone’s face). We compiled this roundup of 2013’s most impressive feats of glamour and gratuity, ostensibly as a cautionary tale for future attendees … but really as an instruction manual, because without the capital-C Crazy, where would we be? Certainly not Cannes.
Best Overall: Nicole Kidman There once was a time when Nicole Kidman took our breath away, and then a more recent time when she looked regularly ...
Best Overall: Nicole Kidman There once was a time when Nicole Kidman took our breath away, and then a more recent time when she looked regularly off enough that she forced us to hold our breath in. So we were delighted to see Kidman at Cannes once again looking every inch the movie star. From the tremendous Dior she wore to the opening ceremony to the graceful Armani she chose for the closing, Nicole mixed daring and classic for a wardrobe that went beyond age-appropriate and thoughtful to become simply beautiful. Bonus points for a Valentino that, while ultimately not the same as Anne Hathaway’s rejected Oscar gown, made people say, “Well, she still showed Anne how it’s done.”
Photo: Getty Images
Second-Best Overall: Zhang Ziyi The magic of Zhang Ziyi is that somehow even the looks we’re pretty sure we shouldn’t like (sheer skirt and peplu...
Second-Best Overall: Zhang Ziyi The magic of Zhang Ziyi is that somehow even the looks we’re pretty sure we shouldn’t like (sheer skirt and peplum and tulle train? Huge slit and translucency and maybe granny panties?) turn posh and sparkling. She should be invited everywhere.
Photo: Getty Images
Single Best Dress: Jessica Chastain Kidman’s Dior was awfully close, but Jessica Chastain sealed this accolade the moment she emerged in that mar...
Single Best Dress: Jessica Chastain Kidman’s Dior was awfully close, but Jessica Chastain sealed this accolade the moment she emerged in that marvelous purple Givenchy. It’s a total dream: brave design, bold color, and lively detail, put together in a cut that’s forgiving enough to make it feel wearable for anyone — even those of us watching from behind our laptops.
Photo: Getty Images
Single Worst Dress: Florence Welch It’s tempting to give the nod to one of the niptastic crotch bombs that were rampant all week, but this...
Single Worst Dress: Florence Welch It’s tempting to give the nod to one of the niptastic crotch bombs that were rampant all week, but this loud housecoat was even more aggressively hideous than the tackiest efforts of Cannes. It’s dumpy, it’s cheap-looking — it looks like it clashes with her very soul. Certainly it chafes ours.
Photo: Venturelli/2013 Venturelli
Best Rookie Outing: Claire Julien Claire had one role on her résumé prior to landing a leading part in The Bling Ring: She played M...
Best Rookie Outing: Claire Julien Claire had one role on her résumé prior to landing a leading part in The Bling Ring: She played Maid #3 in The Dark Knight Rises. To go from that to sporting Balmain and Pucci at Cannes — a custom Pucci, no less — is a heady leap, and Julien really stuck the landing. Photo: Getty Images
Best Play Against Type: Carey Mulligan When’s the last time you saw Carey Mulligan in a pastel and/or with her hair down? Maybe never? Which is w...
Best Play Against Type: Carey Mulligan When’s the last time you saw Carey Mulligan in a pastel and/or with her hair down? Maybe never? Which is why this delicate, baby-pink ballgown (complete with a hint of tasteful but Cannes-friendly sideboob) felt like such a remarkable, refreshing revelation. There’s something to be said for changing things up.
Photo: Dominique Charriau/2013 Dominique Charriau
Most Random Exhibitionism: Paz Vega If asked to predict which starlet would show the south of France the greatest amount of formal thigh, t...
Most Random Exhibitionism: Paz Vega If asked to predict which starlet would show the south of France the greatest amount of formal thigh, there is zero way we would have named Paz Vega. Perhaps that’s partly because, having blocked Spanglish from our brains, we forgot Vega existed until she popped up at Cannes with not one but two gowns designed for maximum femur exposure. So if she was going for Best Dressed, we hate to disappoint, but if she was looking to remind people that she’s still alive ... check.
Photo: Getty Images
Most Surprisingly Restrained: Zoe Saldana
Maybe she was just drained after an actively wacky, navel-bearing, bra-showcasing Star Trek premiere...
Most Surprisingly Restrained: Zoe Saldana
Maybe she was just drained after an actively wacky, navel-bearing, bra-showcasing Star Trek premiere circuit. But given what had come before, we’re surprised that in Cannes, which often feels more like a festival of navels than of film, she went sweetly demure in this lovely Valentino. We’re all for turning up the volume now and then, but it’s good to know when to turn it down again too.
Photo: Andreas Rentz/2013 Getty Images
Most Disappointing: Jennifer Lawrence You’d think a vivacious 22-year old Oscar winner with a taste for the daring would take Cannes by storm. Bu...
Most Disappointing: Jennifer Lawrence You’d think a vivacious 22-year old Oscar winner with a taste for the daring would take Cannes by storm. But with the wild exception of her giant Oscars gown, the Dior collaboration has been a snoozy failure for Jennifer Lawrence, especially this monochromatic, ill-fitting slew of what looked like mix-and-match items. It must have hurt watching Zhang Ziyi, Nicole Kidman, and Marion Cotillard get the better end of Dior’s attention. As soon as that contract is up, girl, get Prabal Gurung back on speed-dial.
Photo: Getty Images
Most Naked: Frederique Bel If Paz Vega popped by to remind us she existed, presumably French actress Frederique Bel emerged at Cannes to reassure...
Most Naked: Frederique Bel If Paz Vega popped by to remind us she existed, presumably French actress Frederique Bel emerged at Cannes to reassure us that her trainer and her waxer earn every single cent of their generous holiday bonuses.
Photo: Getty Images
Best Use of Cutouts/Sheer/Sheer Cutouts: Olga Kurylenko If a girl’s going to do it — and these days, if she’s got an IMDb page, she is — then Olg...
Best Use of Cutouts/Sheer/Sheer Cutouts: Olga Kurylenko If a girl’s going to do it — and these days, if she’s got an IMDb page, she is — then Olga Kurylenko deserves credit for tackling the sheer-cutouts trend tastefully. Especially at a festival that often makes us wonder if “formal underboob” was listed as the dress code.
Photo: Marc Piasecki/2013 Marc Piasecki
Best Gift: Nanako Matsushima Japanese actress Nanako Matsushima showed up looking like a beautifully, precisely wrapped present — and caught us b...
Best Gift: Nanako Matsushima Japanese actress Nanako Matsushima showed up looking like a beautifully, precisely wrapped present — and caught us by surprise, because (a) we had no idea a ribbon that huge could look so charming, and (b) we didn’t get her anything.
Photo: Danny Martindale/2013 Danny Martindale
Best Argument for a Swinton-Themed Met Ball: Tilda Swinton
Could this go to anyone but Tilda Swinton (or Conan O’Brien or David Bo...
Best Argument for a Swinton-Themed Met Ball: Tilda Swinton
Could this go to anyone but Tilda Swinton (or Conan O’Brien or David Bowie)? And yet she earned it. This was Tilda’s highest-profile red carpet in a long time, and she amply illustrated why we prefer to spell her name in ceremonial all-caps: Only SWINTON would show up in an outfit that’s essentially what would result if Liberace designed some lounging sweats for The Golden Girls. She had us clapping with glee.
Photo: Getty Images
Best Argument for a Pants-Themed Met Ball: Li Yuchun She nearly out-Tilda’d Tilda Swinton. We literally don’t understand what some p...
Best Argument for a Pants-Themed Met Ball: Li Yuchun She nearly out-Tilda’d Tilda Swinton. We literally don’t understand what some parts of these outfits even are — which is, obviously, why they’d be perfect for fashion’s biggest night. Imagine what Beyoncé could do if that red outfit were her only sartorial inspiration. We are equal parts awed and terrified just thinking about it. Photo: Getty Images
Most Pointless Pants: Ahna O’Reilly But speaking of pants, we are not sure why high-fashion leggings need to be a thing. We’ve barely come...
Most Pointless Pants: Ahna O’Reilly But speaking of pants, we are not sure why high-fashion leggings need to be a thing. We’ve barely come to terms with the staying power of the $2.99 ones.
Photo: Ian Gavan/2013 Getty Images
OMG IT’S PANTS: Magda Laguinge Look, what more is there to say? She has the name of an Arthurian sorceress and OMG IT’S PANTS. Please put ...
OMG IT’S PANTS: Magda Laguinge Look, what more is there to say? She has the name of an Arthurian sorceress and OMG IT’S PANTS. Please put that spell back in the cauldron, and let’s all pretend this never happened.
Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/2013 French Select via Getty Images
Fanciest Apron: Milla Jovovich It’s a no-win dilemma: Put a shirt under this, and she’s the fanciest wife at the compound; go without and s...
Fanciest Apron: Milla Jovovich It’s a no-win dilemma: Put a shirt under this, and she’s the fanciest wife at the compound; go without and she’s this close to popping up on a Playboy Channel reality show called Topless Chef. The only solution is to leave it in the closet.
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2013 Getty Images
Best Extra: Whoever This Is Let us speak briefly of those women who parade the Cannes red carpet clearly hoping for a little attenti...
Best Extra: Whoever This Is Let us speak briefly of those women who parade the Cannes red carpet clearly hoping for a little attention, but who — adly for them — end up identified only as “Guest.” Sunflower Lady here looks one baby-head short of an Anne Geddes calendar shoot, and we therefore had to share her. And the guest in the first two outfits likewise deserves recognition, if only because her commitment to the cause is truly admirable and maybe also a tiny bit frightening. Keep working, Guests. One day, you too will be named.
Photo: Getty Images
Best Red: Isla Fisher Red on the red carpet is a tricky proposition: No one wants to look like she’s melting into the ground. So credit where it’...
Best Red: Isla Fisher Red on the red carpet is a tricky proposition: No one wants to look like she’s melting into the ground. So credit where it’s due to Isla Fisher for smartly donning a red frock with enough texture to keep those all-important boundaries enforced. It doesn’t hurt that this particular number is also gorgeous on her.
Photo: Ian Gavan/2013 Getty Images
Glummest: Samantha Barks In all the Anne Hathaway–ness of Les Miserables, Samantha Barks may have felt a bit overlooked. Pro tip, kid: You don’t ...
Glummest: Samantha Barks In all the Anne Hathaway–ness of Les Miserables, Samantha Barks may have felt a bit overlooked. Pro tip, kid: You don’t combat that by showing up places dressed like you’re angling for your next movie musical role to be as Mother Superior in a remake of The Sound of Music.
Photo: Gareth Cattermole/2013 Getty Images
Man Most in the Spirit of Things: Jimmy Jean-Louis Dear Jimmy: Thank you for realizing that Cannes is all about the bold sartorial statement and ...
Man Most in the Spirit of Things: Jimmy Jean-Louis Dear Jimmy: Thank you for realizing that Cannes is all about the bold sartorial statement and showing up dressed like a formal referee. Please spread the word among your fellow men that taking a fashion risk is fun, and feel free to throw some flags at the outfits that are real party fouls. Or panty fouls. Either.
Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/2013 Getty Images
Best Shoe: Zoe Saldana There is a real nude-pump epidemic in Hollywood, so we applaud Zoe for sporting these awesome orange stilettos with an out...
Best Shoe: Zoe Saldana There is a real nude-pump epidemic in Hollywood, so we applaud Zoe for sporting these awesome orange stilettos with an outfit where most people would’ve defaulted to the safe black, white, or neutral.
Photo: Andreas Rentz/2013 Getty Images
Please Let This Be the Last Desperate Gasp of a Trend: Sheer Skirts We are so, so tired of making shower-curtain jokes. We have just about run ou...
Please Let This Be the Last Desperate Gasp of a Trend: Sheer Skirts We are so, so tired of making shower-curtain jokes. We have just about run out of them. And even more tired of people making them necessary. Can’t people start wearing bathmats?
Photo: Getty Images
Most Welcome Reappearance: Sharon Stone We missed her looking crazy — hello, giant snake ornament — but we really missed her looking specta...
Most Welcome Reappearance: Sharon Stone We missed her looking crazy — hello, giant snake ornament — but we really missed her looking spectacular. Blessedly, Sharon Stone gave us a hearty dose of both, occasionally at the same time. That’s a gift she should keep on giving. And speaking of presents ...
Photo: Getty Images
Best Parting Gift: Laetitia Casta The former Victoria’s Secret model made it to one event the whole time, and it was the closing party, at which ...
Best Parting Gift: Laetitia Casta The former Victoria’s Secret model made it to one event the whole time, and it was the closing party, at which she paired a Dior gown with roughly 60 percent of a very large (and now very cold) bird. It’s alarming, awful, and amusing all at the same time — the perfect encapsulation of everything that Cannes is, has been, and should be. Take note for next year, Sharon Stone. And everyone else.
Photo: Getty Images
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